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The Secret: Expect changes in yourself and your partner as you move in together or get married. For your relationship to thrive, know where the changes come from and what to do about them.

I am sure you know most people change when they move in together or get married. For some the change is subtle and comes on over time, for others it’s dramatic and comes on overnight. But the change does come. This is a normal part of the deepening of a relationship and love, and cannot be avoided. This is what people talk about when they say relationships require work.

Often neither partner is aware of the change, but is only aware that life together is not quite as happy and there is a certain lack of satisfaction with the relationship. People usually attribute this to stress, hoping it will go away. For some couples this can be the beginning of the end, because as the partners change, they meet each other’s needs less, and in the process extinguish their love. However, this news is not all bad – in fact, it is actually very good.

What to do to use the changes to get even more love than before:

The changes are the wounds from the past partner you found on adultfrienedfinder rising up inside you and your partner, seeking to be healed. These can be wounds from childhood or from past relationships, or both. As you and your partner heal these, both of you will be available and capable of the kind of intimacy and love both of you have always wanted.

Here is the work both of you need to do:

  • Talk openly with each other about the changes you notice
  • Do not give up on each other even if the person who changed does not yet clearly see the changes or their origin
  • Do not buy excuses of stress or added responsibility as viable reasons for the changes
  • Strongly request the same amount of love and attention as you enjoyed before the commitment – and be there for each other as new feelings arise
  • Get help, advice, therapy, coaching, or take classes together to put your relationship back on the right track, so that the two of you can have deep, heart-satisfying love

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