How to make a relationship work when the going gets tough? The question itself is tough. But the fact that you are asking it is working in your favor – so many people just give up nowadays, once the novelty of the marriage/relationship has gone, and things don’t come so easily. “Effort?! No way, I’m outta here”, is becoming such a common reaction with couples it’s depressing.
So you need to figure out if you both still love each other and whether you genuinely want to stay together. Maybe your marriage/relationship is irreparably broken – but you won’t know for sure until you’ve covered the following:
7 Steps to take to figure out how to make a relationship work:
1 – Quit looking for someone to blame
You’re both at fault, so quit it with the accusations. You both need to work at this together, instead of you both believing you are perfect while your partner is the one who’s wrecking everything.
2. Find the time, let the chores slide
You are both going to need to sit down together to discuss how to make the relationship work. Finding the time for this needs to be a priority – leave the laundry, home improvements, ‘important internet research’, etc for a while – I guarantee the world will not explode if you do.
3. Be courteous, it won’t kill you y’know
Sometime during your relationship you stopped ‘being nice’, saying please. thank you, etc, asking for a favor instead of expecting things to be done. You told yourself it was because you both felt comfortable with each other, and the respect is still implied when you scream “answer the phone!!” down the stairs. This kind of aggression is a real romance-killer.
4. Make it a project
We don’t all automatically know how to make a relationship work, it’s not like we learn it at school! So do some research, there’s plenty online (like the free Relationship Bootcamp course) to help you understand what needs to be done to make your relationship work.
5. Be Harry and Lisa again
When you first got together you probably socialized more as a couple, with other couples maybe. Maybe you both now have your own separate circles of friends, and socialize separately. But socializing as a couple makes you feel more of a couple – try to hook up with couple friends regularly, have a laugh, reminisce about old times, and it will remind you both of the good old days when you were closer.
6. 5-Minute Rule
When you DO have an argument (as we all do from time to time), try the 5-minute rule – let each other speak for 5 minutes about what’s bugging you, then discuss for another 5 minutes to agree a solution – 15 minutes and the argument should be done. This is WAAAY better than an hour of screaming over each other to make yourself heard, just winding each other up further and further…
7. Last but not least…. sex
I left this one til last because your sex life as seen in this adultfrienedfinder app review will improve once you figure out how to make a relationship work using the other steps above. Having said that, you still need to make the effort to keep things fresh – discuss what you both want and need from sex, make time for it (arrange babysitters or a sneaky daytime date if needed).
So that’s HOW to make a relationship work…
…,but now it’s up to you to put it into action. Maybe show your partner this article and ask what they think? Or try out the free Relationship Bootcamp couples course to cover many of the above and more in one week, to get you both back on track? Either way, you’re done with reading – it’s time to prioritise your relationship and fix it, now you know how to ‘theoretically’ make the relationship work.