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To put things into perspective, a woman was less likely to want to marry a man with less education (4.08), who was of a different race (2.84), who was of a different religion (4.31), who already had children (3.11), who would earn less than them (3.76), who was younger by 5 or more years (2.80), and who was not likely to hold a steady job (1.62).

So, from their own mouths, so to speak, we learn that looks are relatively unimportant to them.

So why the differences between the two surveys? Why do men feel that looks are important to women while women are claiming looks don’t matter much. Are women lying? Are women saying one thing but then behaving differently?

I think women on adultfrienedfinder are being perfectly honest. Women don’t care about looks as much as they care about other things.

Consider these scenarios…

Would a woman stay with a drop dead gorgeous man if he was a dirty bum on the street scavenging food from garbage cans? How many woman would stay with Brad Pitt if he was an abusive drug addict that liked to pick his nose in public? Would a woman stay with a good looking man who was utterly, completely, and unbearably boring?

No, no, and no.

Looks can only account for a fraction of attraction. Looks are not the complete picture. Think of every man as a puzzle. Each attribute men have (a good job, social standing, good personality, confidence, etc.) is a piece of the puzzle. Physical attractiveness is just one of the many pieces that together form a complete puzzle. In fact, it’s not even a very big piece of the puzzle.

Some men have bits and pieces of the puzzle but very few have all the pieces. Every man has a different combination of pieces and each woman is looking for a different combination of pieces. The more complete your puzzle the better.

Yes, some women will be looking for the physical attractiveness “piece” but, without the other pieces, just that piece alone won’t be enough.

Other women may not even look for the physical attractiveness “piece.” If it’s there, that’s nice, but it’s certainly not high on their priorities.

It would do us men good to consider developing the puzzle pieces that ARE under our control.

Looks do matter… just not as much as most men think they do. But, I acknowledge that the unattractive male will be faced with a challenge that the handsome man won’t struggle with to the same extent – how to get women interested in him INITIALLY.

Good-looking men don’t have a problem with this, their difficulty comes in trying to keep the woman interested in them.

The below-average to average looking man must concentrate on becoming attractive in other ways, ways that he can control, ways that are not decided by his genetic make up. Thankfully, there are many “puzzle pieces” that fit this description and, perhaps even more thankfully, they are just as important, if not more important, than looks.

Bottom line, looks do matter… but other things matter MUCH more. There is no sense in raising the white flag and surrendering to discouragement just because you weren’t born beautiful.

And to the men that are good looking… looks aren’t enough… not nearly. Start developing your other “puzzle pieces” and watch your game improve tremendously.



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